When the ugly comes out...

I pride myself on working well under pressure. My bosses used to comment on my zen-like calm in even the most stressful situations. Years ago, a yoga instructor told me that "impatience is the surface of anger" and I repeat those words to myself every day.

So why do I sometimes just lose it at the most inane inconvenience?

After work yesterday, I decided to do some laundry. My laundry basket was overflowing and I decided that Friday would probably be the best night to do laundry, I would have the laundry room all to myself. (Ahhh, the joys of apartment living and shared laundry rooms. Also, these are not the kind of machines that take quarters, but the kind where you put money on a card.) There are three laundry rooms in our complex, two of which are within a few yards of our apartment.

When I went to the first room, three out of seven washers were being used and the remaining four had powdered soap in them. Seriously? Why was there powdered soap in there? Were they trying to "claim" the machines? Were they broken and somebody didn't realize it until they had put their soap in? Even if they were working, I couldn't use them now because my skin is super-sensitive and I can only use detergent with no dyes or perfumes. You know, the detergent that dermatologists recommend for newborns? My skin is that special.

So I go to the next laundry room. There is one machine that is filled with water but the other ones look fine. In fact, they all have brand new card readers, so they must be working! I put in my laundry, add my special detergent, insert my card into the card reader which takes the appropriate amount off my card and push the start buttons.

Nothing.

The sight of my clothes covered in detergent was just too much. I slammed the lids, cursed loudly, and marched over to the complex office to berate the poor employee about how shitty this dump is. (It's 5:30 on a Friday, I'm well aware of the fact that these machines will not be fixed immediately and this throws me further into a rage.) While I'm walking to the office, my husband calls to tell me about the brisket he wants to make for our mothers' day lunch and I snapped at him.

Whoa, hold up. What am I so pissed about? Yes, it's annoying. But all I have to do is go to the other laundry room. Granted, it's the farthest away, but I can still literally see it from where I'm standing. Also, it's 5:30 on a Friday and I'm already home from work and have the whole weekend ahead of me! I don't even need any of these clothes to be clean right away.

Impatience is the surface of anger and I have nothing to be angry about. I still need a reminder now and then.